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Young gun

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: What is Set in Stone

    This was just simply fantastic.Such a great idea was brought out in just a few thoughts so simply and effectively. It really tells us how we people have been accepted ...

    Jul 26, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: 3 Haikus

    The second and third haikus have a clear cut meaning though the first one leaves many guesses. The Abyss Below The Pool of Water Reflects; A Sky With no Stars ...

    Jul 25, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: They have spoken.

    The idea of this poem was fantastic and so was the way you brought it out. The concept of people being compared to raindrops really makes us feel weak and ...

    Jul 25, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: where great tigers roam

    Hi This was a really great piece.Really simple and understandable to the reader. I want to discover her so I am not alone. What makes this place her instead of ...

    Jul 25, 2009
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Ferocious Beast: Female Soccer Player

    Hey......nice new idea there.Its quite different and really intriguing. At first its kind of hard to believe that female players display more aggression and ruthlessness on the field than men ...

    Jul 24, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: London Rain

    This poem has been written really well. The children cry. The parents weep. As death makes rounds through the streets. Perfect lines!Really brings out the havoc war causes. The destruction ...

    Jul 23, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Girl

    Since thedelphinater already pointed out the improvisations I'll talk about what I really liked about this poem. The narrator really makes the point of the poem very clear.I could empathise ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Moon

    Welcome to YWS.I'll be the first one to review your work. This was poem was really nice due to its simplicity. Not many people choose to write simple stuff like ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: An Ice Cream Truck in Late Summer

    This poem was really refreshing and different from other serious poems.Its something many little kids can relate to. You have really captured the emotions and innocence very well. This was ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Tender Mourning

    If this was your first serious piece of work in poetry,its a really good beginning. The poem has really good imagery and the choice of words is also really simple. ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Axis

    This was an extremely unconventional and amazing poem.This poem really makes you think deeply about the underlying message present in it. From when were seeds until when we are sprung ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Break my Heart and Hope to Die

    A very well written and emotionally gripping story.This is what I suppose could help you improve it: He had been in a car accident at the end of the year, ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tick Tock

    The choice of your subject for this poem was really nice.Here are a few things that might help you a little more: You need not use the words tick tock ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Broken man

    This poem brought out man's common questions in an honest and simple presentation. The narrator's question sticks thought the poem and his building rage for inability to know the mystery ...

    Jul 20, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Butterfly Effect

    This poem was really nice and constructed with subtlety.Here are somethings I thought that might help you: His artistically calloused hands Avoid the use of big words when it really ...

    Jul 20, 2009


Find wonder in the everyday, find everyday language to articulate it.
— Maurice Manning